Tag Archives: Precisely Yourself Life Coaching

Day 27 – Stop Beating Myself Up #30dreamdays

23 Sep


This is a repost from Precisely Yourself Life Coaching with an introduction by me.   I not only admire Deb’s honesty, insight and writing style but I can learn a lot from her example.  Sometimes it is easier to not pass judgement on others than it is for us to NOT pass judgement on ourselves.

At least that is something I struggle with.  Today, I spent my day working but I also spent some time researching Ph.D. programs and first steps I might take such as finding someone to interview who can give me an idea of what life throughout that process would REALLY look like.   I didn’t feel like this is worth a whole post, especially because I’ve already declared my dream to pursue a Ph.D.  Then I almost slipped into a place of “beating myself up” because it is 11:30pm and I just started to sit down to write my post.   And, THEN…because of the inspiration that she is, I thought of Deb, and her #JUDGMENT #Clemency post.

I channeled my inner Deb, decided that I would give myself grace and mercy and I would simply share with you my dream of one day no longer beating myself up.  And my 2nd dream would be that YOU don’t beat yourself up either.  If you are looking for a daily dose of positivity to help you in that endeavor, go LIKE Deb’s page on Facebook and you won’t be disappointed!!

Days 20 & 21 dream challenge #JUDGMENT #Clemency

So here I find myself again, beating myself up over not posting daily for the daily dream challenge. On day 19, I focused on clemency, sure that with an extra day’s experience I would have something valuable to say and time to write it up to my satisfaction for sharing. Wrong. But I’m honestly okay with that. I granted myself clemency for the missed deadlines.

I’ve reflected, as I said I would earlier in the month, about the days of this dream challenge month that I’ve missed. During the days that I’ve missed I really was living AND dreaming. I realized these 3 things.

(1) #CHANGE: Sometimes I contemplate change in pursuit of my dreams. When I implement those changes, I’m living my dream.

(2) #FREEDOM: Sometimes I allow myself the time and freedom to dream, but nothing concrete forms right away. When this happens, I might question whether or not I have any dreams, but I know I do have them…and I’m taking the time I need to work out the details.

(3) #OPPORTUNITY: Sometimes I’m presented with an opportunity to do something I’ve never done before, I say yes on a whim, only to discover that I’m living a dream I never knew I had!

All 3 of the above have happened to me in the last year. I’ve decided clemency is an important component of my successful dreaming practice. I have a harsh tendency to judge myself by others’ standards – even when those standards don’t make sense for me; even when those standards are restricting me.

There certainly needs to be structure in life, and keeping track of time is quite possibly the most frequently used measurement of structure…and one that doesn’t work well for me, especially when I try to apply it to something creative: like dreaming.

My friend and fellow dreamer, Nicole Colter, started this #30dreamdays challenge. I wanted to support her, and I wanted to test my ability to dream regularly. I rarely remember dreams upon waking. I feel like my mind is constantly full of purposeful thoughts throughout days and nights, so I just wasn’t sure I was spending time dreaming. Nicole was energized by this project to such a level that I was completely sucked in. Her energy was UP, her creativity was flowing and she was inspired!! Her enthusiasm was contagious! I decided I wanted to go along for the ride. After all, what could be a bigger blast than sharing a vision and a dream with a dear friend??

I have thoroughly enjoyed my days on this dream journey and I’ve learned about myself that it’s possible to support a loved ones’ pursuit of their dream without being directly involved. I have given myself clemency for the days I missed…I didn’t skip dreaming, I skipped posting about dreaming. And I’m checking my judgment to ensure I’m cutting myself a break. Not because I failed the challenge for a few days, but because I didn’t.

Although I didn’t post daily, I’ve experienced all 3 of the above numbered situations this year.

Change: I stopped working for corporate America and started working for myself by officially building a coaching business – I’m working my dream job.

Freedom: I took a tropical vacation with the love of my life and a few friends to celebrate our belated honeymoon and 15th anniversary – a shared dream with my husband. Freedom from daily responsibilities in a dreamy setting!! I contemplated where and how to bring my coaching services to the people who wanted and needed them most – I allowed myself freedom to explore many different possibilities. The answers didn’t come to me right away, and I was okay with that. I have greater clarity because I allowed myself the freedom to dream of various possibilities.

Opportunity: Last week I was contacted by an educator and offered an opportunity to work with a population I hadn’t considered working with. I said yes and I’m elated that I did! I discovered an area of work that I’d not dreamed of before, she I love it!!

This dream stuff is pretty powerful…especially when I set aside judgment, set aside the way it “should” be done and do it my way. Not rushing myself. Not dreaming only at night, or only when it’s quiet, or only at a pre-determined time or space. Dreaming through change, freedom and opportunity works well for me.

You might like a more traditional approach and that’s awesome! Do what works for YOU!! Dreams are meant to be crafted. Take charge!

I hope you understand why I’ve granted myself clemency on the daily post issue. I’m going to try to post a dream a day for the next eight days, but my days might be a little long by your standards. I’m okay with that. I hope you are too.

Dare to dream, friends. Abandon judgment. Dream on your terms – judgment free. It’ll mean more to you. And when you slip up and start judging yourself, remember clemency. Wishing you sweet and powerful dreams!! #30dreamdays


(Photo credit)

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