Day 19 – Enough Time #30dreamdays

15 Sep

Are you familiar with “Never Enough”?

I pride myself on my awareness of abundance and rejection of scarcity…except when it comes to time.  I am always busy.  I feel the minutes pass into hours and days seem to go by like sand through my fingers.

I’ve even taken a Time Management class, but all I felt it taught me was how to manage an insane amount of things.  And I’ve done it.  I did it rather successfully for years.   I don’t want to do it anymore.

The challenge is, we all establish patterns.  We have our default mode.  Mine is dialed to “super high achiever mode”…and it requires a lot of time to maintain that.  I didn’t set out to be this way.

I remember being in high school working hard to get all A’s so I could get into a good college so I could get into a good law school so I could get into a good law firm.    Then one day I realized “so I’m working my a$$ off to get into college so I can work my a$$ off to get into law school so I can work my a$$ off to get into a good law firm so I could…work my a$$ off for the rest of my life?  I don’t think so.  That was the end of that.

I wish I could say that I always applied this rational cost benefit analysis but I didn’t.  I took on things I shouldn’t have because I didn’t want to let people down.  Because I didn’t want to not do what was obviously next.  Because I didn’t really have my OWN priorities so other people’s priorities became mine.

That’s in the past.  It is still hard for me to say No sometimes and I am still a bit wasteful of my time but I am getting better.

Last night I stumbled on this book again…More or Less: Choosing a Lifestyle of Excessive Generosity by Jeff Shinabarger.  I saw it months ago and was initially intrigued by it but now I am really interested in reading it.  However, I would prefer to do it in a small group setting and explore this on a deeper level.   The times where I have made some of my greatest progress have been when I surrounded myself with people who were willing to struggle through it with me.

My favorite quotes from the video are…

“If time really is money, then I’m broke.  I think a lot of us are.”

“I think it wears on all of us after awhile and creates this strange longing for some way to press pause on the busy and learn what it means to be present.”

“To try to remember what it means to be, instead of what it means to only do.  To break the seemingly endless pattern of consumption.  And spend less time reacting to what is urgent and more time returning to what is important.”

I dream of a day where I am really intentional about my time.  I want to invest it wisely.  I don’t want my life to come to its final curtain call and I regret the choices I’ve made.

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